10 Ways to Get Your Marriage Back on Track..

10 Ways to Get Your Marriage Back on 

Track

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes happily ever after. End of story, right? Not quite… While it’s true that couples relax a bit after they think they’ve nabbed the matrimonial Holy Grail, the reality is that they may also find themselves dumbfounded if their fairytale starts slipping away. “Many people think that marriage is about marrying the right person, so when things go wrong, they automatically go to the ‘Crap, I accidentally married the wrong person’ place,” says Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After. “Although you do want to marry someone you are basically compatible with, marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person than it has to do with doing the right things with the person you married.” In other words, relationships are a constant work in progress. To keep the happy connection that made you say “I do” in the first place—or maybe even create a newer-and-improved version—try out these 10 tips to rehab your romance.

1. Nurture yourself

2. Define your problems

3. Make a financial plan together

4. Use the three-sentence rule

5. Take your fighting gloves off

6. Just do it

7. Burn your grudges

8. Don’t be overly confident

9. Write your spouse’s eulogy

10. Remind yourself you have a choice to stay married

http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/dating-marriage/10-ways-to-get-your-marriage-back-on-track-116392

Your Wife, Your Best Friend – Why Your Spouse Should Be Your Best Friend.

Your Wife, Your Best Friend; – Why Your

 Spouse Should Be Your Best Friend.

Many people usually wonder why so many marriages end immediately after the honeymoon. Well, this is because many couples usually aren’t the best of friends by the time they get married. You’ll come to realize that marriage has been taken so casually with ‘companionship’ being taken to mean getting married to someone who will fulfill your needs without question throughout your life but should not necessarily be your best friend. A healthy marriage that lasts is one where the man and his wife are the best of friends.

Here are some of the many reasons why the wife is best friend and I believe this should apply to all married couples.

1) Be Honest with Each Other:

I have friends who would always applaud me even when they know that I’m messing up my life but not a wife. She will always tell the truth honestly however how much it may hurt. When the situation messing around, she’s there to put  back the husband on the right track. The only person who can always tell you the truth in love and honesty is your spouse. Being honest with one another is one virtue that a couple who want to be best friends should apply.

2) Respect One Another:

There is no lesser partner in marriage and I believe no one is a weaker sex. All have weakness and when one get to some points of weakness you find strength in your spouse . When you chose to respect one another you’ll come to realize that there is so much you can achieve together. It’s amazing how God pairs people in marriage. This is because at the points where one finds weaknesses, strength always comes from the other spouse . This understanding initiates respect between any married couple who are true friends.

3) Team Work:

It’s amazing that one of the things that drew us to each other is the ability to plan things and work together as a team comfortably. Teamwork in marriage is very important for it helps you achieve much in your goals and dreams as a couple. This would include all things in your marriage including household chores and even time with the kids. When you decide to work separately, then your marriage will be on a rocky downhill path.

4) Managing Conflicts:

If you quarrel with someone and it hurts you so much then that is an indicator of how much that person means to you. Many people get depressed when the quarrel with their friends and would do anything to restore that friendship. It’s a wonder that the opposite happen in marriages. Whenever we argue or get into a conflict, it hurts so much that that the easiest way out is to work on how to restore the friendship and bring to an end the stalemate. Always find amicable ways of dealing with conflicts and don’t stay mad at each other for long. This is one silent marriage killer.

5) Be Each Other’s Pillar:

There are those times that I felt like giving up and the only source of strength is your wife. There are  times when one really feels low or down. It is important to support each other in low moments and to stand by one another as married couples. The worst thing that can happen is for someone to prefer to cry on the shoulders of another or to confide in someone else concerning what he/she is going through other than his/her partner. This would show that the support needed is not provided  by the spouse so the partner will seek it elsewhere.

6) Quality Time:

How much time do you spend together? Does his/her company bore you or excite you. Whenever you are in the presence of your spouse and you can’t just wait to go out with your friends to watch a game, to go shopping or do other social activities then something is wrong with your marriage. To be honest, the best times is in life are those that we’ve spent together and the company of each other is always rewarding and something quite looking forward to. Always strive to invest your quality time in each other for that will strengthen your relationship.

7) Pray Together:

Nothing in this world is greater than faith, and faith in God. Praying together, studying the word of God together and encouraging each other in times of trials has always worked as a fuel which strengthens our faith as Christians and as a family. It is God who ordained marriage and it’s only Him who can help you have a fruitful and blessed marriage. Marriage is made of three cords; You, God and Your Spouse.

http://jessejacksonmirega.wordpress.com/2012/11/20/my-wife-my-best-friend-why-your-spouse-should-be-your-best-friend/

How to Be a Great Husband

Be Honest

In a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. If something doesn't suit them let them know, otherwise they will not trust your opinion. But make it sound like a compliment.

Communicate

Do not talk her ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, she is made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to her. If you ask her a question, ask because you really want to know. For example, ask her what type of movies she enjoys, or about one of her favourites.

Respect Her

Contempt is poison in a relationship. You don't have to act like you like what she said or did, but do not take on an attitude of superiority, even subtly in passing, such as momentary smirking, sighs of disgust or eye-rolling. Such gestures, though seemingly insignificant, deeply show a lack of support, respect and trust, especially over a period of time.

Be Romantic

What "being romantic" means varies widely from person to person, but at its core, romance involves doing something to express affection in a meaningful yet unexpected way. A true act of romance requires creativity and sincerity, often inspired by love (either its presence or its possibility).

Reintroduce the excitement that characterized the beginning of the relationship. Do something different, something that your wife wouldn't expect. The more out of the ordinary, the better!

Give gifts as a surprise

Give what she needs

Always Be Available

Take care of her. Your wife may feel overwhelmed with kids and work. Don't hesitate to cook her favorite food or make her favorite drink. Help with the kids and help around the house (like doing dishes). Wives aren't superwomen as much as you'd like them to be.

Be her greatest supporter. Be someone she knows that she can always count on. Be there for her when she has had a long day. Listen to her with attentive eyes and ears. Back her up 100 percent! And always protect her, both physically and emotionally. If you have done something to hurt her, even if you didn't mean to, tell her you are sorry and show her affection. This must be sincere! There's nothing worse than an "I'm sorry" that is put on or phony.

Understand that your personal relationship should be more important to you than your other family members, work, friends, etc. She is your partner in all things. Treat her as such. If you're worried about looking independent in front of them, then talk with your wife and set clear expectations about what decisions you can make without each other, and what decisions must absolutely be discussed. But also, ask yourself why you feel you should look independent instead of married. It may not be hard to say "Let me talk this over with my other half."

Do your part. Don't make her ask you to pull your own weight around the house. This makes her feel like a nag, and it creates an adult/child relationship. Which is never good. She is your partner not your mother. Show her she can count on you to get things handled.

Be Responsible

Seek responsibility and take responsibility for your actions. The main difference between a man and a boy, and adult and a child, is that men are responsible. Men honor their commitments, accept their duties and are accountable for damages they incur, debts they owe and claims they make. Men clean up after themselves (figuratively and literally). Men know that anyone can father a baby but only a man who understands and accepts responsibility can be a good father. Men refuse to make anyone do anything they themselves are unwilling to do. Sometimes men make sacrifices for the people they love and care about. That's life. It's part of growing up, whether you like it or not. The difference between a man and a boy is that a man steps up to the plate, while a boy hesitates or complains.

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Great-Husband

Simple Marriage and The Importance of Love

Successful marriages seem rare in today’s crazy world.

The statistics are grim and the stories of break-up and divorce are harsh.

I’ve always had the mentality that love is not enough to sustain a “til death do us part” relationship, and while that may be true, without love, there is nothing.

• Love may not solve an argument, but love gives you the patience to work through it.
• Love may not ensure that you are always right, but love gives you the perspective to understand that being right isn’t important.
• Love won’t stop you from saying hurtful things, but love demands a heart felt apology.
• Love doesn’t make you less annoyed by the little things, but love will help you focus on what really matters.
• Love doesn’t protect you from getting hurt, but love allows forgiveness.

My married friends remind me that love is important when it comes to a happy marriage.

Many of my blogger friends have been happily married for years, and while they don’t write specifically about marriage, you can strengthen your marriage by surrounding yourself with these happily married people…

There are so many blogs they aren’t about marriage, but they are full of love. They often mention their spouses or marriage, or love and kindness. They are loving people and they think about their relationships. They prove that that the success of marriage is directly related to the thought, time and attention given to the relationship. I know that sounds obvious, but sometimes it’s easy to put other things first.

We hear more in the media about divorce and destruction, but I am happy to report that the institution of marriage is alive and well for many. Some of the key ingredients to a successful marriage are very similar to the the ingredients for a happy life.

• Gratitude. It’s easy to take the little things for granted, but thanking your spouse for taking the trash out, making dinner and other daily activities is so important.
• Happiness. A strong relationship needs happiness and sometimes with the hustle and bustle of life, you have to fight for that.
• Selflessness. If everyday, you think about how to make your spouse’s day a little brighter, you will become naturally more supportive, more giving and more loving.
• Date Night. Take time for each other. This might be a challenge if you have young children, but figure it out.
• Common Goals. You don’t have to like all the same things, but you do need to work on your future together.

I didn’t include love on the list because it is the glue that holds all of these things together. Love can’t fix everything, but it will give you the strength to get through anything.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Focusing on this verse strengthens my resolve to be a better partner. It shows me that when I act with envy or am easily angered, I’m not acting from a place of love. If I’m not patient or kind, I’m not loving. If I always go back to love, then I cannot fail. I can only protect, trust, hope and persevere.

For our Anniversary this year, My gift to you is another song that makes me think of you, of us. I love you.

http://bemorewithless.com/simple-marriage-and-the-importance-of-love/

5 Ways to Stay In Love Forever....

5 WAYS TO STAY IN LOVE FOREVER

1.Cherish your wife, respect your husband.

The core emotional need of a woman is to be cherished. This is the husband's number one responsibility. That means making her feel loved and appreciated, that she's your number one priority.

A man's core emotional need is to feel respected by his wife. When he comes home, he wants to feel that there is at least one person in the world who thinks he's got what it takes. That means getting off the phone when he walks in the door.

2.Treat each other like good friends.

Under the marriage canopy one of the seven blessings given to the bride and groom is that they should become "beloved friends."

The hallmark of friendship is that each person validates and respects the other person's feelings and needs. Validation means: What's important to you is important to me. It's a key way to make your spouse feel loved.

3. Remember the four golden words: Listen, Compromise, Repair, Gratitude.

Agree to keep one basic rule at the beginning of your marriage: No matter how upset you are, never launch a verbal attack. Fighting with insults only makes problems worse and erodes the relationship. Instead, implement the four golden words:

Listening: It's essential for working together and solving problems. Allow your spouse to speak without interruption and then repeat what has just been said. This reassures your spouse that he or she was heard.

Compromise: Strive to solve problems where both of you are happy with the solution. Neither one should feel coerced into accepting the other person's point of view.

Repair: When you hurt each other emotionally, repair the breakdown and remove the lingering feelings of anger and resentment. Aim for 100% reconciliation. A little resentment multiplied 50 times can create a wall of bitterness.

Gratitude: You can never say thank you enough to your spouse. Try to notice everything your spouse does for you and acknowledge it with sincere gratitude.

4. Establish strong boundaries.

Your spouse is your number one priority – not your parents, relatives, friends, children, work, or hobbies. Set strong boundaries that show you value your marriage and don't allow anyone or anything to weaken your relationship.

That means meeting your spouse's needs before your parents' needs, coming home with enough time left in the evening to have quality time together, and inviolate date nights.

5. Give each other pleasure daily.

Marriage is ultimately about making each other feel good and striving to give your spouse pleasure on a daily basis – on his or her terms. If she says she likes lilies, don't bring her roses because you think they're more romantic.

Learn how your spouse prefers to be given to – whether it's physical affection, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service (like helping out in the house, running errands) or spending quality time – and get in the daily habit of doing it.

You'll enjoy giving more than receiving.

http://www.aish.com/f/m/48961686.html

How to avoid Ego Problems in Married Life

There are many reasons which results in separations of loved ones which changes life of both the person involved. Some of prominent reasons of problems are jealously, pride and ego. Ego usually comes out of fear of losing control or proving yourself right or when someone is feeling insecure. People don’t even realize that they have ego problem and it eventually results in breaking up relations with their loved ones.

Here are few tips to avoid ego problems:

1. No regrets and no proud: Never feel regret about your past or about your negative points. Even you must never think that you are best in any of your quality. Every person has some negative and some positive points, thus stop regretting or feeling proud. Your partner is equally intelligent and responsible as you are, you know some things better than your partner and your partner knows some things better than you. Proud and regrets both increase your ego.

2. Don’t always praise yourself : Keep praising yourself in front of others don’t help much to impress them, in fact they it slowly increases your ego and make you overconfident. If you have habit of telling others about your achievements or success every time when you get into conversation with others then you can get trapped with ego problems easily. So, praising yourself must be in limits.

3. Keep your leg in other’s shoe: Many people think that they always think and do right things, but this is not true. The fact is many time what we think is right, can actually impact badly in our life. Thus, while discussing with your partner about any topic, try to think the way he/she is thinking. It is not necessary that you always oppose what your partner want to say or he/she is not enough mature to give you suggestions. This tendency increases your ego problem. When you try to think like your partner, you can easily come out of your ego problem and become broader minded.

4. Don’t make habit of listening compliments: Sometimes you say such things like “I am good for nothing “or “I don’t look good” and wait people to give you compliment that “no, you look beautiful”. People generally make habit of listening only good things about themselves, which are sometimes fake and just to make you happy. When your partner says the right things about you, your ego hurts very easily. Thus, beware of listening fake praise or keep yourself away from people who keep on flatter you , this will increase your ego problem and you will find difficult to receive criticism.

To reduce the fights between you and your partner, you need to avoid your ego. Ego should never come in between loved ones, it ruin your marriage. You need to prepare mentally that you need to remove ego problems between you and your partner and then follow above steps. I can assure you that you will surely get close to your partner and your fights will get reduced.

http://www.letstalkrelations.com/how-to-avoid-ego-problems-in-married-life.html 

Why Your Husband Should Be Your Best Friend Too

Have you ever wondered how a married couple that was so in love on their wedding day could turn against each other years later? How they could possibly live without each others’ kisses and hugs that once use to be so special to me? Or how they could scream hurtful things at each other and not even feel guilty or sorry? Well, I wonder about this almost every day because I am a child of one of those couples—one of those hate-stricken, miserable couples. 

One possibility that always crossed my mind was maybe they never loved each other in the first place. Maybe all the smiles and laughs were just a fake. But that wouldn’t really explain why they ended up getting married. I mean, you wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your like with someone you didn’t really love, right? So that leads to the next possibility, maybe they did love each other once but just stopped. But, how do you stop loving someone? How do you look in that same person’s eyes, the eyes you once loved so much, and decide that you no longer love that person? Is it a quick decision? Or is it a choice you’ve debated over for weeks, months, maybe, even years? 

I guess I just don’t understand how that love disappears. Is it crushed and destroyed or does it just vanish into thin air? I might sound naive to all this but I don’t think I am because I have been in love for 2.5 years and I can never see myself stopping. Some people would say it’s puppy love and I’ll probably just grow out of it like my parents did, but it’s not puppy love. We passed that stage many months ago and we don’t plan on ever separating. We have our fights and arguments, just like my parents, but we never stop loving each other. The fights only make us stronger. 

Now, what scares me the most though is that my mother reminds me all the time that they once use to be like my boyfriend and I, totally and insanely in love. But I just can’t seem to believe it. My boyfriend and I are not just lovers and partners for life; we’re each other’s best friend and as the saying goes, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go but best friends always stay the same. Well, I made sure that saying did not apply to my current boyfriend by making him my best friend. Which makes me believe that maybe that’s the secret to a happy relationship: being each others’ best friend.

Every single person I know whose happily in love considers their significant other to be their best friend. Not only will they answer yes to the question, “Is your significant other your best friend?” but they’ll out right say it without even being asked first. Now if I wasn’t convinced of it myself already, things really started to make sense when I realized that my parents never called each other their best friends either. They didn’t even called each other friends. They were just husband and wife, like they were just forced upon each other by a couple of vows.

Now I might have just realized the reason for the spike in divorce rates recently or I might have just made myself feel better by talking out of my ass, but either way I think I’m on to something really big. What if by simply treating your husband or boyfriend as your best friend you could improve and strengthen your relationship like never before. Wouldn’t you try it? Well, you should, because I honestly think that is what has created the wonderful relationship I have with my boyfriend. Not only do we love each other but we have fun with each other and talk to each other as if we’d been friends for our entire life: something my parents have never done. 

So the next time you’re with your boyfriend or husband, look him in the eye and tell him he’s not just your boyfriend or husband, he’s your best friend and I guarantee it will blow his mind away. And if he looks back at you and says the same thing and means it, you’ll know you got something special. Because love is more than just kisses and hugs. It’s about loyalty and honesty, things you’ll always find in your best friend.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/love-sex/why-your-husband-should-be-your-best-friend-too