How to avoid Ego Problems in Married Life

There are many reasons which results in separations of loved ones which changes life of both the person involved. Some of prominent reasons of problems are jealously, pride and ego. Ego usually comes out of fear of losing control or proving yourself right or when someone is feeling insecure. People don’t even realize that they have ego problem and it eventually results in breaking up relations with their loved ones.

Here are few tips to avoid ego problems:

1. No regrets and no proud: Never feel regret about your past or about your negative points. Even you must never think that you are best in any of your quality. Every person has some negative and some positive points, thus stop regretting or feeling proud. Your partner is equally intelligent and responsible as you are, you know some things better than your partner and your partner knows some things better than you. Proud and regrets both increase your ego.

2. Don’t always praise yourself : Keep praising yourself in front of others don’t help much to impress them, in fact they it slowly increases your ego and make you overconfident. If you have habit of telling others about your achievements or success every time when you get into conversation with others then you can get trapped with ego problems easily. So, praising yourself must be in limits.

3. Keep your leg in other’s shoe: Many people think that they always think and do right things, but this is not true. The fact is many time what we think is right, can actually impact badly in our life. Thus, while discussing with your partner about any topic, try to think the way he/she is thinking. It is not necessary that you always oppose what your partner want to say or he/she is not enough mature to give you suggestions. This tendency increases your ego problem. When you try to think like your partner, you can easily come out of your ego problem and become broader minded.

4. Don’t make habit of listening compliments: Sometimes you say such things like “I am good for nothing “or “I don’t look good” and wait people to give you compliment that “no, you look beautiful”. People generally make habit of listening only good things about themselves, which are sometimes fake and just to make you happy. When your partner says the right things about you, your ego hurts very easily. Thus, beware of listening fake praise or keep yourself away from people who keep on flatter you , this will increase your ego problem and you will find difficult to receive criticism.

To reduce the fights between you and your partner, you need to avoid your ego. Ego should never come in between loved ones, it ruin your marriage. You need to prepare mentally that you need to remove ego problems between you and your partner and then follow above steps. I can assure you that you will surely get close to your partner and your fights will get reduced.

http://www.letstalkrelations.com/how-to-avoid-ego-problems-in-married-life.html 

Why Your Husband Should Be Your Best Friend Too

Have you ever wondered how a married couple that was so in love on their wedding day could turn against each other years later? How they could possibly live without each others’ kisses and hugs that once use to be so special to me? Or how they could scream hurtful things at each other and not even feel guilty or sorry? Well, I wonder about this almost every day because I am a child of one of those couples—one of those hate-stricken, miserable couples. 

One possibility that always crossed my mind was maybe they never loved each other in the first place. Maybe all the smiles and laughs were just a fake. But that wouldn’t really explain why they ended up getting married. I mean, you wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your like with someone you didn’t really love, right? So that leads to the next possibility, maybe they did love each other once but just stopped. But, how do you stop loving someone? How do you look in that same person’s eyes, the eyes you once loved so much, and decide that you no longer love that person? Is it a quick decision? Or is it a choice you’ve debated over for weeks, months, maybe, even years? 

I guess I just don’t understand how that love disappears. Is it crushed and destroyed or does it just vanish into thin air? I might sound naive to all this but I don’t think I am because I have been in love for 2.5 years and I can never see myself stopping. Some people would say it’s puppy love and I’ll probably just grow out of it like my parents did, but it’s not puppy love. We passed that stage many months ago and we don’t plan on ever separating. We have our fights and arguments, just like my parents, but we never stop loving each other. The fights only make us stronger. 

Now, what scares me the most though is that my mother reminds me all the time that they once use to be like my boyfriend and I, totally and insanely in love. But I just can’t seem to believe it. My boyfriend and I are not just lovers and partners for life; we’re each other’s best friend and as the saying goes, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go but best friends always stay the same. Well, I made sure that saying did not apply to my current boyfriend by making him my best friend. Which makes me believe that maybe that’s the secret to a happy relationship: being each others’ best friend.

Every single person I know whose happily in love considers their significant other to be their best friend. Not only will they answer yes to the question, “Is your significant other your best friend?” but they’ll out right say it without even being asked first. Now if I wasn’t convinced of it myself already, things really started to make sense when I realized that my parents never called each other their best friends either. They didn’t even called each other friends. They were just husband and wife, like they were just forced upon each other by a couple of vows.

Now I might have just realized the reason for the spike in divorce rates recently or I might have just made myself feel better by talking out of my ass, but either way I think I’m on to something really big. What if by simply treating your husband or boyfriend as your best friend you could improve and strengthen your relationship like never before. Wouldn’t you try it? Well, you should, because I honestly think that is what has created the wonderful relationship I have with my boyfriend. Not only do we love each other but we have fun with each other and talk to each other as if we’d been friends for our entire life: something my parents have never done. 

So the next time you’re with your boyfriend or husband, look him in the eye and tell him he’s not just your boyfriend or husband, he’s your best friend and I guarantee it will blow his mind away. And if he looks back at you and says the same thing and means it, you’ll know you got something special. Because love is more than just kisses and hugs. It’s about loyalty and honesty, things you’ll always find in your best friend.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/love-sex/why-your-husband-should-be-your-best-friend-too

How to Improve Your Relationship With Your Spouse

simple way to explain....

The wedding vows are said, the honeymoon is over, and you look forward to many years of wedded bliss. Most of all you want a good relationship with your husband. By-the-way, the following tips should work for either spouse as these tips will help bond any relationship. It is not spouse dependent.

Keep an open mind about each other's views.

Help each other, but not being overly solicitous (giving in too easily, or being a "Yes!" rubber stamp person).

Be flexible. Give a little to get a little.

Show kindness. Say, "Thanks! Excuse me. Please... I'm sorry." appropriately.

Communicate enough to keep each other in the loop, but pick your times -- so as not to be intrusive to have your say...

If you disagree on some issues, realize that unless those issues are the crux of your relationship they are not as important as your relationship.

Argue in a sensible and thoughtful manner, when you must disagree.

Try to be consistent, but not merely stubborn.

Accommodate each other's idiosyncrasies.

Do the best you can to make your relationship better and stronger.

Never go to bed angry.

give small surprises even if you are not asked for.

http://www.wikihow.com/Build-a-Good-Relationship-With-Your-Husband

MARRIAGE AND BEYOND...DIFFERENCES WITH YOUR PARTNER

IDENTIFYING THE REASONS 

EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS......... 

After you have understood what an affair means and what are its types, the next thing you need to know, before you take any steps to deal with it, is to know what causes its. Thus identifying the reason is a crucial thing because it is no good blaming anyone or yourself for the affair.

The reasons can be many but you must be ready to take the initiative to identify it and try to cooperate to solve the problem rather than complicate it. Generally speaking, an extra-marital affair points to something that has gone wrong in a marriage. Some of the reasons for extra-marital affairs are as under. I will deal with each of them in detail.

Lack of emotional closeness  Marriage is not only a physical bonding but also it is an emotional bonding. Each partner is emotionally attached to one another and depends on the other for comfort and caring. Thus when in a marriage there is no emotional closeness then in such circumstances one finds emotional and mental peace elsewhere. Thus my advice to you is do not become insensitive and uncaring. What a marriage requires is love, compassion and understanding and for this emotional closeness is a must. Lack of interest in each other  This also causes a marriage a serious threat and can ruin your marriage. Take interest in your husband's work, hobbies and activities. By this I do not mean that you should give up your work and hobbies. What I meant is once in a while surprise your husband by participating in his interest like go out to see a football or a cricket match with him, even if you do not like it. Lack of communication  Keep the lines of communication open. In couples where they don't talk so much and keep secrets from one another, affairs are far more tempting, as someone else can provide what's missing from the relationship. Passion has died down, or it has never existed We all think that an affair is to do with extra-marital sex. It isn't necessarily so. Research shows that most people don't have an affair because they want sex. What a person wants is love and passion in a relationship. Once you don't provide that he looks for it elsewhere. Lack of commitment to each other In a marriage commitment is the vital thing. Though men don't want to be committed but they do expect commitment from their partner. Once the essence of marriage is gone the path is clear for an affair to walk in. Lack of understanding  Your marriage rests upon your understanding and cooperation. Thus to keep your marriage affair-proof never misunderstand your husband or create unnecessary complications. What your man wants is affection and to be cared for. These things are incredibly important - be warm with your partner, give praise and say you care. Over possessiveness  Jealousy and over-possessiveness is also a cause of extra-marital affair. So keep yourself away from it.  Loneliness and boredom  Give time to your home, wife and family because everyone wants attention and love. Don't be so busy with your work that you can have no time to devote for your partner so that she has to turn to someone else for love. Thus to survive your wife's affair you have to understand and identify the reasons behind this behaviour and also admit your mistakes and learn to take the blame on yourself if you really are the culprit. Ask yourself these questions and see if you are really the one who has caused this thing to happen. People are always very keen to blame a third party - 'She was a man-eater' or 'He was out for whatever he could get'. This is beside the point. You need to ask, 'What caused the affair?' Blaming your partner, or the third party, is useless. You need to look at your own responsibilities. Thus you need to rebuild your relationship to what it was like in the early days. You need to remember the reason you are with each other. http://www.seasonsindia.com/marriage/identifying_sea.htm

Five Things Your Husband Wishes You’d Know but Won’t Tell You....

Five Things Your Husband Wishes You'd Know But Won't Tell You

There are many things your husband would love for you to know about him but he just won’t tell you. Is he purposely not sharing these things with you or has it been awhile since you had a deep conversation together? The answer will be different for each couple, but here are five things he would like you to know:

1. He loves you. You are his world, though you may not think so. He does not always have an easy time expressing his feelings or sharing verbally, though he does show you in other ways. While you may prefer a hug or words of endearment, he may demonstrate his love when he buys you your favorite snack or mows the lawn. 
    
2. He is embarrassed by how you talk about him with your friends and/or in public. When you make a joke about how he can’t find anything, that he doesn’t listen to what you say, or that he is a hermit, he doesn’t find it funny. When you criticize him in public he feels shamed. After a while, these remarks begin to chip away at his trust in you as his loving partner.
    
3. He wants to be #1. Although he loves your devotion to the children, he sometimes feels left out. He wants to feel more important than the kids so that when he is talking to you and the children interrupt, you put him first instead of attending to them. He is your full partner in parenting but he doesn’t want to compete for supermom’s attention. He wishes you would take interest in him, spend time with him, and go out once in a while. Showing your kids that your marriage comes first is a valuable lesson that will benefit them in the long-run even though they may be “kicking and screaming” when you leave them with a baby sitter.
    
4. His sense of self-worth is directly connected to his abilities to provide for you. If your husband is currently out of a job and you are experiencing tension in your relationship, it is no wonder why. He needs you to understand how hard it is for him when he can’t provide because he feels like a failure. When you get anxious about your financial situation it makes him feel even worse because he has let you down. There is nothing more satisfying for a man than to provide for his family. Realize that money is an extremely charged issue for both of you. Any discussion about the topic will be smoother if you are able to be more sensitive and focus on crunching numbers instead of battling fears. 
    
5. He wants to be appreciated. He wants to know that you appreciate him for everything he does for you. He wants to know that you appreciate him for who he is. When you complain about all of the things he doesn’t do right, it is hard for him to feel that you value him. Keep in mind Dr. John Gottman’s 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interchanges. For every one negative remark you make, try to think of five positive things to say, to counteract the negative effects of a critical word. While we may feel so busy with life’s to-do list that we forget to express our appreciation, we seem to find time to share a complaint or frustration with our spouse. Try carving out a few minutes each day before bed where you share with your husband what you appreciate about him and why.

These five points are not all that surprising or profound, but you’ll be amazed at the positive and immediate effect they can have on your marriage. By accepting the way your husband loves you, being careful about criticizing him, making him #1, monitoring your money fears, and expressing appreciation for him, you are showing him that you are willing to meet him half way towards a better and more fulfilling relationship.

http://www.aish.com/f/m/Five_Things_Your_Husband_Wishes_Youd_Know_but_Wont_Tell_You.html

Love Marriage or Arrange Marriage....

Marriage

Hi friends,

As all said, it is not depend on either Love or Arrange. It depends on mutual understanding, trust, willingness, honesty of both people. In this world, we have to open our eyes for getting right things at right time by keeping trust in GOD. Cast should not be problem for fully matured, educated, salaried & trust worthy couple.

In simple line, if you have matured love not blindly, then go for approval of parents, convince them, try hard & you'll probably get success. If parents not ready only based on caste or some pre matured mind sets then go with your heart. Feel the enthusiasm of decision, stick it & prove it.

If you had no love till marriage, get with arrange one, go for engagement, Time period should be at least 6 months between engagement & marriage, understand, set goal of life, try to enjoy life & live the life in your way.

Try to honest, trustworthy & simple in your life. Chances of good things are more & you'll be satisfied.

It is nice to share such an interesting topic LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGE MARRIAGE. The Purpose of marriage is to make a happy life between two kind of persons and their families.

If it is love marriage:

"Love makes life beautiful", It is 100% true. But nowadays love comes at very soon ie during his/her school and they don't know anything about life they fall in love because of attraction and they got married without parent's permission. At this stage they don't have a capacity to lead their life. They started their life happy for 1 or 2 years after that the problems will start. At this stage they don't have any support from their parents so they have to take their own decision. Due to their EGO they won't take good decision finally that marriage ends with diverse. 

Ya you may ask there is no true love in this world? ya definitely true love is there. They can be said true lovers only they can able to love their family. The true lovers never got married without their parents permission. If they not able to convince their parents how can manage his/her marriage life to be a successful one? But nowadays it is not not possible because many of the youngsters are not ready to share their ideas with their parents. According to the statistics 65% of love marriage ends with diverse. Love is blind ok I agree it may solve dowry problems, cast problems at what extend, if that 2 persons have education & job. 

Otherwise it is a very big? I just want to ask one question for the love marriage supporters Are you ready to support Your daughter/son's love, many of them say yes but if you are in that responsible position you will think. It is the fact. So think of our invaluable parents and take any decision. If your love is true please try to convince them. "Every coin has its head and tail" similarly Everything has its good and bad, Arrange marriage also has some disadvantage but its level when compared love marriage is low.

http://www.indiabix.com/group-discussion/love-marriages-vs-arranged-marriages/

Trust Your Husband Again and Rediscover Your Peace of Mind

Trust Your Husband Again

Trust Your Husband Again and Rediscover Your Peace of Mind

Having a husband who had an affair can be really tough. There are plenty of times where women feel as if they cannot stay with their husbands who have cheated, however, there are some that want to stick it out and make things work. The latter can be quite difficult simply because it’s hard to trust a husband after he had an affair. Well, this post will try to provide some help by discussing how to trust your husband again after he had an affair.

First off, in order to trust your husband again it’s important for you to be patient. This may sound nearly impossible because you may be thinking of how nice it would be to just go back to the way things were, but that just won’t happen. It’s going to take a lot of time in order to build up trust again. It has to be earned by your husband and that will only take time. So, be patient and allow your husband to build up that lost trust over time, and things will get better much more smoothly.

Talking is going to become a lot more important if you are to trust your husband again. You should be talking with your husband a lot more and about specific things, such as the way he is feeling or what he is thinking. No, this doesn’t involve trying to get everything out of his head. This is just about listening to him and trying to figure out what is going inside his mind. This will result in long conversations about how you two are feeling and where the next step should be taken. Talking is very important and it’s something that should be done more often than it did before the affair.

Lastly, it’s important to allow your husband to regain that trust. This sounds obvious, however, it’s something that many women don’t do. This basically means that it’s important to forgive in order to trust your husband again. If you hold onto that pain of the affair and keep the grudge against your husband then there is no way that trust can be gained from him because you’re essentially setting up a wall between you and him. So, in the end, be patient, talk, and allow him to regain trust and everything should be alright in the end.

Transparency and Learning to Trust Your Husband Again

It can be very hard to learn to trust your husband again after he cheats on you. Whether he cheated on you with a relationship that was both physical and emotional or only emotional, it will still be hard for you to trust in your relationship again. However, it can be done. There are ways that the relationship can be worked out. It does take a commitment for both you and your husband. It will not be an easy road for either of you but it will be worth all of the time and effort that you two put forth.

Having a policy of transparency is a good first step when you are learning to trust your husband again. This means that both of you are completely honest and up front about what is going on in your lives. Having a daily check in the morning before everyone heads off for the day is a great way to practice this necessary transparency.

Many people find that mornings are too hectic to have a few minutes to spare to talk about plans for the day. In this case, it could work out better for you and your husband to take a few minutes at the end of the day to talk about your days. In addition, this time could be used to share plans for the following day as well as upcoming events in each other’s lives as well.

Knowing that your husband plans to stop off at the local bar after work to meet his college buddies will go a long way toward helping you to trust your husband again. Knowing who will be attending this get together will also help you to feel more trusting of your husband.

In addition, by taking the time to make a quick phone call to you while he is on his way can help to reassure you of his commitment to the relationship. It is also important to know an approximate time that you expect him to be home. In this way, you will be aware so that this will help you to learn to trust your husband again.

Transparency and Learning to Trust Your Husband Again

It can be very hard to learn to trust your husband again after he cheats on you. Whether he cheated on you with a relationship that was both physical and emotional or only emotional, it will still be hard for you to trust in your relationship again. However, it can be done. There are ways that the relationship can be worked out. It does take a commitment for both you and your husband. It will not be an easy road for either of you but it will be worth all of the time and effort that you two put forth.

Having a policy of transparency is a good first step when you are learning to trust your husband again. This means that both of you are completely honest and up front about what is going on in your lives. Having a daily check in the morning before everyone heads off for the day is a great way to practice this necessary transparency.

Many people find that mornings are too hectic to have a few minutes to spare to talk about plans for the day. In this case, it could work out better for you and your husband to take a few minutes at the end of the day to talk about your days. In addition, this time could be used to share plans for the following day as well as upcoming events in each other’s lives as well.

Knowing that your husband plans to stop off at the local bar after work to meet his college buddies will go a long way toward helping you to trust your husband again. Knowing who will be attending this get together will also help you to feel more trusting of your husband.

In addition, by taking the time to make a quick phone call to you while he is on his way can help to reassure you of his commitment to the relationship. It is also important to know an approximate time that you expect him to be home. In this way, you will be aware so that this will help you to learn to trust your husband again